Pre-sobriety

Pre-sobriety describes life before our internal recognition that something has become unmanageable. It is defined by the belief – sometimes desperate, sometimes defiant – that control is still possible.

The experiences in this chapter often carry confusion and contradiction. There may be awareness without acceptance, pain without surrender, and repeated attempts to regain balance through effort alone. Moments of clarity can appear here, but they do not yet reorganize behavior or identity.

These terms capture the inner logic of that period: the negotiations, the justifications, the brief reprieves, and the growing sense that something essential is not working. They reflect a mind still trying to solve the problem from inside the problem, reaching for coherence where none can yet be found.